Seizures

Some of you may know that I worried a lot about Evan having seizures, I went through times when I watched him like a hawk and examined every little thing he did that was weird, I researched the different types of seizures so I felt prepared at what to do in case one happened. Well, in January Evan started having seizures, he had one that entailed staring, retching, crankiness, vomitting and then sleeping for a long period afterward. He has had episodes of staring and/or weird eye movements where I have thought maybe it was a seizure but it happened quickly and I was not sure. Plus, he was on a medication for the seizures and we were supposed to be getting an EEG in the near future.

Well, he was doing ok with just a few questionable events in a month or so. While on vacation on July 2nd Evan had what I would call a moderate seizure. He had staring, eye jumping, vomitting, crankiness and sleeping. We went to a new neurologist(see post on 7-17-08).

Well last night he woke up retching and vomitted quite a few times but not a lot of stuff came out. He was not able to sit up and was not crying or upset that this was happening, like a child usually is if they throw up. It was also not a full stomach emptying which I thought was suspicious. Anyway, he fell back to sleep and then woke up about 40 minutes later and started vomitting again and then he kind of cried a bit and then fell back to sleep until this morning at 8:30am. He woke up happy and did not get sick or act sick and was eating fine. This makes me confident that the episodes were seizures and not some kind of flu bug.

I wonder why this is happening, maybe because we have a new neuro who is awesome, then Evan's body felt it could let loose. I am not to thrilled with this becoming a constant concern as it seems to be at this point. I know that sounds horrible, but for all the worrying that I did about Evan having seizures I now worry that he will have big problems with respiratory or losing consiencenious. We now have our RX for the Diastat but if I have to use it that is a big deal.

I just worry about them affecting Evan's development, who knows maybe the activity already has impeded him. This world is sometimes so unknown. I am so scared that I am going to have to call the ambulance for Evan one of these days and I am afraid that it will be at night or I will freeze up or maybe some damage will be done before the get there. I don't know, now it all seems so real to me. I hate this part of the special needs life.

I know in my mind that I will be able to handle it if he has a big seizure, I think it just scares me. And it is something that I do not want to see my baby go through, but also I feel like I am just waiting for this to happen like I waited for the seizures to start. And now I am feeling like I can't leave him with anyone for an extended period of time or go anywhere that there is not a hospital close by just in case. I researched the hospitals when we went to Burney and he had a seizure, not one that needed emergency treatment but still. I think I just hate feeling this way and being worried. I really just want to let it go and go on with life but I have a hard time with it sometimes. I know some of my friends and acquaintances deal with seizures on a daily basis and have had their children hospitalized on more than one occasion for it and I feel like my situation is so trivial compared to that.

Well now I am rambling but I just had to get my feelings out.